As I mentioned yesterday, family, work and general stresses from the outside world had been hindering the kind of dynamic I so craved.
The first five months of our relationship were tumultuous, but full of raw excitement and passion. I have lots of stories from that time which I think I’ll save for now; plenty of little nuggets of erotic play. Sir had to leave for the summer to work a contract about 4 hours away. It was very hard. I missed him like mad, and I missed the discipline I’d grown so used to. Since then, there were periods of time when we would play hard and heavy, and our day-to-day relationship thrived. The lull happened when things in our lives made both of us feel as though we were powerless. He didn’t feel worthy of exerting control, and I didn’t feel safe enough in my own head to let him go there in that state.
However.
Lately, things have calmed down a little and I’m back in a place where I can trust him again. I am craving being retrained – having all of the naughty, bad little habits I’ve picked up over the months beaten out of me (both literally and figuratively). The hunger that I feel stirring up inside me is a powerful beast. I need to submit. I may need to submit 24/7 for a while. Something deep within me is missing and with Sir’s help, I can fill it up.
One of the lessons he taught me very early on, and something we discussed at length was that he was not the magical fix to any deep seeded need I may have. My submission, my training and my trust were in his hands, but were to improve my outlook on myself. He was the facilitator, not the answer.
So, after some discussion spanning the past few weeks, two nights ago, after a trying evening at work, I got a call from Sir telling me to be ready and waiting when he arrived home. My heart fluttered. I put the phone back on the cradle and promptly took off my clothes. On went my collar, my wrist and ankle cuffs, and a hint of makeup. I brushed my hair and quickly tidied up the place, finishing just in time to meet him, kneeling at the door. He smiled as he looked down at me. He first asked me to stand up so he could take a look. He called me “a vision”. After a thorough examination, I helped him take off his coat and boots, then knelt at his feet while he sat in his chair, deciding what to do with me next. He wanted to check his email and relax a little before dealing with me, so he told me to stand in the middle of the room, sticking my tits and ass out, accentuating the curve in my back. He told me to look straight ahead and to keep my arms straight out to my sides. I responded with a smile and a “Yes Sir!”
Now, call me out of practice, but my arms got tired fairly quickly. This amused him greatly. I knew he was testing me. He was testing how much I wanted to get back into the swing of serving and pleasing him. I could feel my stubbornness boiling beneath my skin. As uncomfortable as it was, it brought me great pleasure to demonstrate to Sir just how focused I was.
It was a night of retesting limits. Sir put the clover clamps on my nipples, then tied the chain of the clamps to the heel of my stiletto. He tied my wrists to my ankles so I was fully splayed and fully available and proceeded to fuck my cunt and my ass with his cock, a thick dildo and his fingers. In addition, I was allowed to take spankings from his hands, the flogger and a wooden spoon. Nothing was too much for me to handle. In fact, if I had felt slightly more outgoing, I would have asked for more. Asking for what I’d like is something I continue to work on – it doesn’t come naturally. In any case, I loved the beating. It takes a lot to mark me and I wished he would go full out so I could come away with badges. But I was happy with what he was giving me, and I took it all with pride.
After he had allowed me to have an orgasm, he let me kneel down in front of his and suck his cock. It was slick with my juices and I took as much of it as I could into my throat. To finish off our play, he had me ride him in a squatting position with my hands behind my head, thanking him for the use of his cock. When he came, he held me for a while. It was sweet. The hard play was over, but the rest of the night was service-oriented (which I also enjoy for the most part). I ran the water for his shower, I was waiting with a towel to dry him off, I made him tea and generally made myself available to be there to tend to his needs.
All in all it was a wonderful night and has pushed me even deeper into the mindset that I so want to maintain. I am craving more. We’ve decided to set up a time to lay out some objectives for the near future, and I cannot wait to see where that takes us. For now, however, I am eagerly awaiting Sir beckoning me. He is sitting in the chair next to me, playing with himself and will let me know when to kneel before him to be his cum receptacle. Then he is taking me out on a date night. I have been instructed to wear my collar and ankle cuffs, though I am allowed to wear an outfit that will conceal them. Just knowing that I’ll be in public wearing these very personal items is making my slut cunt drip with excitement!
<3 Ruby
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